SO, YOU BELIEVE IN BIG FOOT?

Well, here’s the true story behind the myth…On August 27, 1958, a bulldozer operator for Jerry Crew, Ray Wallace, a northern California logging company was clearing away brush and stumps near Bluff Creek, about 300 miles north of San Francisco. When he found enormous, manlike footprints in the mud.

He relayed the news to the other workers and learned that they too had spotted mammoth tracks at several allocations.

News of the sighting was published in the local Humboldt Times: “Giant footprints puzzled residents.  The story contained the first recorded use of the name “Bigfoot.”

Was the story true?  No.  After Wallace died in 2002, his children revealed a secret that their father had concealed for decades.  He had made the footprints by stomping n the mud with carved wooden feet.  “It was all a joke,” the children explained.

However, for people who desperately need something to brighten their dull, repetitive, boring lives, the story has endured.

The Chinese call it Yeren, the Australians, Yowie, the Canadians, Sesquac.  But all describe an 8-12 foot tall beast weighing 800 pounds.

Today, interest in Big oot is at an all-time high.

In May, thousands of believers will attend one of the largest-ever Bigfoot conferences in Ohio.

Sighting of a half-man, half-beast, have been reported by people all over the world…none of who were scientists, or members of Mensa.  They were idiots in search of excitement.  A sighting, or a sighting shared, was like getting high on a drug.

In 2008, two Georgia men (average I.Q. in Georgia is 85) claimed to have recovered a Bigfoot corpse.  But after a media frenzy they admitted they purchased a Bigfoot costume and stuffed it with road kill.

But the most famous hoax was in 1967 when two men (certified retarded) made a 59 second film showing an ape-like creature walking around near Bluff Creek, where the original footprints were found.

Years later, the costume manufacturer said he sold the gorilla suit to the two men.

Scientifically, there is not a single iota of evidence that Bigfoot is real.  Mark Wilson, a natural sciences professor who has studied sightings said,  “No bodies, no bones, no hair, no skin, no DNA have ever been collected.”  Just stories fabricated by people who need a little excitement in their lives or desire to be in  the news.

What researchers did find was that Bigfoot sighting corresponded to Black Bear’s habitat.

When up on their hind legs, Black bears can look very tall and human-like with their outstretched arms

Based on sighting, it would mean that there is more than one Bigfoot, which means they would have bred and there would now be dozens or even hundreds of Bigfoots.

My suggestion would be to bring something exciting into your life, like mountain climbing, skydiving, or group sex.  Then you’ll satisfy your need to make up or pass along ridiculous stories.

My belief is that Bigfoot sighting correlate with the increase in pot smoking, hallucinogenic use, meth and Fentenyl psychosis.

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